Welcome to The Hoondat Report! This is where I will make sweeping pronouncements that I may later regret, but that won’t stop me from rushing them into publication, sometimes under the influence of alcohol. The Hoondat Report is a division of World Lexicography Headquarters, which is the source of your Word of the Week, each Thursday at 6pm Central Time, on xersradio.com.
Here’s an FAQ:
Q: Where can I find your FAQ?
A: Shut up.
Q: What is a hoondat?
A: A hoondat is a snow duck. I coined the term at age 4 in what is now recognized as the first official action of World Lexicography Headquarters. Other kids built snowmen; I built snow ducks. That’s the kind of innovation you can expect from WLHQ.
Q: What is World Lexicography Headquarters?
A: World Lexicography Headquarters (WLHQ) is an organization dedicated to building your vocabulary with interesting words that will make people scratch their heads and wonder about you a little when you use them in everyday conversation. WLHQ asserts all other Word of the Week presentations to be unauthorized and false, and encourages you to direct their perpetrators to report to WLHQ for immediate detention and reeducation.
Q: Where is WLHQ?
A: WLHQ recently relocated to Kansas City, after spending several years in the barren wilds of Southern California and Texas.
Q: Where can I listen to the Word of the Week?
A: Tune in to xersradio.com each Thursday at 6pm Central. I’m on a fantastic show called “Life As Art, Also,” hosted by Chris and Mike, which runs weekly from 5 to 7. Chris and Mike introduce me, listen to me gossip and bitch and moan about life in Kansas City, and then they pull the Word of the Week from me, sometimes with pliers.
Occasionally, instead of the Word of the Week, we do a Sensitive Hearts Poetry Reading, in which we learn that not all poetry is good, and that some of it is downright laughable.
Q: What’s your real name?
A: Here on this site I’m known as Hoondat.
If you listen to the radio program (see previous question), you’ll hear me called by another name that I disavow entirely.
Q: Has anyone ever actually asked you these questions?
A: No. The “F” and the “A” of this “FAQ” are pure fabrications. I have never been asked any of these questions; not even the one about what my name is.