How to Deal with Telemarketers

Most of my readers in America, I assume, are smart enough to have their numbers listed in the Do Not Call Registry. (If not, click the link and sign up right away.)

I heard something disturbing about that registry recently. Did you know that nonprofit organizations have an exemption from respecting the list? Apparently they’re allowed to call whomever they want, whenever they want. Their calls are considered not obnoxious and not an invasion of your home, evidently, because they … (I don’t know how to finish that sentence).

I also keep getting calls from the Red Cross. That’s my fault, because I donated blood. Then very quickly I started getting calls from them asking for more blood. These calls were very persistent and had a way of coming at inappropriate hours. So here’s how I dealt with it.

One night, while in Florida on business, having dinner with my friends Girlie and Gomez (both male), my cell phone rang. Of course it was the Red Cross, calling yet again to ask me to bleed for them. I had had enough, and also I had a couple of drinks in me, so I felt bold enough to say the following: “I’m sorry, I’m too busy taking intravenous drugs and having unprotected gay sex to take your call right now. Could you please call back tomorrow?”

That’s absolutely true, by the way, and not just something I later wished I’d said. Girlie and Gomez will both testify to it. And it worked, sort of, because it took about two years before the Red Cross started calling again.

One thought on “How to Deal with Telemarketers

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