I think when you drive into Texas, you should see a big highway sign that says:
I’ve taken a lot of road trips in recent times, and the lesson I’ve learned over and over is that Texas is, at least partially, an Asshole State.
Let me define that. (That is, after all, my job.) An Asshole State is a state in which drivers think it’s okay to drive slowly in the passing lane, even if they aren’t passing, regardless of how badly they might be holding up traffic.
Texas isn’t the worst. The worst is Nevada, which is full of arrogant jerks who really seem to do this out of malice, and enjoy giving you nasty looks when you finally manage to get past them on the right as they commute home, inch by spiteful inch, from their day jobs torturing puppies and kittens. Arizona can be pretty bad, too. Texas is better than either of those two Asshole States, but it isn’t good, either. In most other states, people understand that if they aren’t passing someone, then the right thing to do is to get the hell out of the passing lane, and if they forget, their state highway patrol might just give them an expensive reminder.
The worst case that I’ve seen lately (I was on highway 71, if it matters) was a Texan veering slowly and erratically around the passing lane. When I finally managed to get by her on the right, I saw that she was texting. For that, I made an exception to my strict politeness policy and gave her the finger, which she surely didn’t see.
If she had been the only one, I wouldn’t be writing this post. She was merely the worst of them.
Sorry, Texas, you have many fine qualities that I admire, especially your friendly people and your football culture, but when it comes to highway etiquette, you are clearly an Asshole State.