Your Word of the Week: Morton’s Toe

For this week’s Word, we plunge into the medical archives and discover a terrible disease that would break any mother’s heart to discover in her child, much like the news that her child has joined a comet-worshipping cult, and with similar stigma. We think there should be a charitable foundation dedicated to improving awareness and treatment of this affliction, but of course we’d rather somebody else did it.

Morton’s toe (n.) – a hideous deformity in which the second toe is longer than the first toe, or hallux.

We use the words “hideous deformity” with tongue planted directly into our capacious cheek. The fact is, we at WLHQ are ourselves afflicted with this condition and we figure it’s about time we came out with it. The online literature tells of all sorts of grievous maladies affecting the feet, legs, and spine that can result from having Morton’s toe, and reading it makes us feel a bit like Dr. Seuss’s bear with one eyelash too few; but we have experienced none of them, so we think it is not as horrific as all that.

Naturally, researching this word has caused us to spend the entire morning browsing recordings of Dr. Seuss. We also heartily recommend Fox in Socks and Too Many Daves, both of which we know almost entirely by heart, and both of which we’d love to see attempted by a sign language interpreter.

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