This is probably not something you want to do. You might think, at first, that a lexicographer would be a lot of fun at a game of Mad Libs. You’d be wrong. I have never been invited to play Mad Libs with anyone a second time. It usually goes a bit like this:
Friend: This one is called ‘Going Caroling.’ Give me an adjective.
Me: All right, how about … fewer.
Friend: Another adjective.
Friend: That’s not an adjective.
Me: Sure it is. It modifies nouns. As in: I beat six paraplegics in a footrace.
Friend: Okay, fine. Give me a number.
Me: Square root of seventeen.
Friend: Very funny.
Me: It’s a number.
Friend: All right, give me another adjective.
Friend: [Dirty look]
Me: It’s an adjective. Write it down.
Friend: Plural noun.
Friend: … Another plural noun.
Friend: I don’t know what that means.
Me: A condition or instance of being ostrich-like.
Friend: Use it in a sentence. I dare you.
Me: That’s what you’re about to do.
Friend: Why can’t you just say ‘dicks’ like a normal person?
Me: You wanted a noun. It’s a noun.
Friend: But it won’t be any fun in the game!
Me: I’m having fun. Come on, let’s keep going.
Friend: All right, all right. Adjective.
Friend: Know what? Forget it. Here’s what you’ve made so far.
‘Tis the FEWER season for caroling. Here’s how to make everyone’s Christmas a little more merry and SIX. Gather SQUARE ROOT OF 17 of your THE friends and family STOICISMS. Pick out a few classic STRUTHIOSITIES to sing, like have yourself a YOURS little Christmas.
Me: Best ever.
Friend: Fuck you.