The Excruciating Pain of Christmas Music, Scientifically Measured

If you’ve visited this blog during the holidays, you know my feelings about Christmas music. It’s my tradition to unleash a primal, Munchian scream against the unbearable, tinny, maudlin, manipulative, manufactured dreck that the Sentimental-Industrial Complex annually sees fit to inflict on us. But this time, science is here to help us.

It’s needed, as our annual helping of ritual abuse has returned to show off its shabby plumage. And we will pretend to admire it until we suddenly and unanimously turn it all off without missing it even a tiny bit; and I will continue my annual agonized screaming. (My previous two screams are here and here.)

And heaven and nature sing.
And heaven and nature sing.

But this year, thanks to my good friend Collin, men of good will have a way to strike back. Collin has launched a project that will attempt to scientifically measure which is the worst (or at least, the most hated) Christmas song. He’s doing it by public vote. It’s in a tournament format, and it’s just entered Round 2.

The best place to vote and discuss is on Collin’s Twitter feed. You can also find (sort of) a list of the songs and the current standings on Collin’s blog.

Be sure to get involved. Vote especially hard for Neil Diamond’s Hallelujah Chorus when you get the chance.

For my money, that’s the most offensive Christmas song ever, narrowly edging out The Christmas Shoes, but not by a lot.

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