Reindeer Games

Dasher: All right, Blitzen, you do the antler thing with the mistletoe … Dasher, your turn to spin the bottle. Who has the blindfold? … Shit, here he comes. Hide everything.

Cupid: God, he gets so inappropriate.

Rudolph: Hey everybody! Who wants to play some reindeer games? If you know what I mean.

Vixen: Why are you winking like that?

The most famous reindeer of all
The most famous reindeer of all

Dasher: Um, hi, Rudolph. We were just sitting down to play Monopoly. Want to join us?

Rudolph: But what about reindeer games? Is nobody else horny? Get it? Come on, I was ready to get freaky with the sled wax and—

Comet: Ugh. Okay, we get it. Rudolph doesn’t like Monopoly. Fine, what about backgammon?

Rudolph: But it’s totally mating season, and I bought this big bottle of—

Comet: How about Scrabble?

Rudolph: Come on, guys, those are games people play. Can’t we get a nice little reindeer orgy going?

Dasher: Settle down, Rudy.

Rudolph: All right, it’s cool. But you know I can do things with this nose. Right, Vixen? Remember? Vixen? Remember? Vixen? Eh?

Vixen: Jesus, Rudy, that was years ago, and no, I don’t remember, because you got me so drunk. Could we please not talk about that in front of the others?

Rudolph: Come on, it’s no big deal, just a little noseplay, don’t be a prude. Anyway, just so you all know, if you wake up in the night with that hot feeling in your withers—

Dasher: Yes, Rudolph, all right, we get the picture, so please drop it already! Now come on, everybody, let’s get this game of Monopoly started.

Rudolph: Boring. Later, squares.

Blitzen: Is he gone?

Comet: God, I thought he’d never leave. Now, where’s that mistletoe?


[I know I’m late to the Christmas party here, but I didn’t exactly go viral when I honored the calendar either, so here we are. The prompt that inspired this one was “Games people play.”]

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