Tag: Christmas music

The Excruciating Pain of Christmas Music, Scientifically Measured

If you’ve visited this blog during the holidays, you know my feelings about Christmas music. It’s my tradition to unleash a primal, Munchian scream against the unbearable, tinny, maudlin, manipulative, manufactured dreck that the Sentimental-Industrial Complex annually sees fit to inflict on us. But this time, science is here to help us.

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Christmas music: It only gets worse.

Does Christmas music really get worse every year? Or is it just an illusion, and it’s always been this awful? Oddly enough, I think both are true. Let me explain.

I take it for granted that everybody agrees Christmas music is terrible. If it weren’t, you’d listen to it all year. But you spare yourself that torment for roughly eleven months each year, because you can. (Those few of you who are now getting frothy flecks of Cheetos all over your screens by shouting “I listen to it all year” should find each other and form a support group.)

Merry Christmas one and all.
Merry Christmas one and all.

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‘Tis the Damn Season

(Note: We hereby abandon the Editorial We, except when issuing official pronouncements on behalf of WLHQ, or when we feel like it. It was stupid and annoying. We apologize.)

I’ve never liked Christmas music. There, I said it. There are various reasons for that, foremost the forced march Christmas caroling that I was frequently made to do as a kid. I was raised in a church where the adults loved nothing more than to herd the kids up in front of everyone, at the point of electric prods if necessary, and force them to perform music. It can leave one with an aversion. (On a quick tangent: if you’ve never been part of a troupe of four grade schoolers made to perform “Dona Nobis Pacem” in front of a church on a clarinet, a trumpet, a violin, and a drum kit, yes, a drum kit, you are luckier than I was, And if you were an adult in the congregation that day, I blame you for doing nothing to stop it.)

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