Tag: games

Madden NFL: Geriatric Checkers Edition

I’ve been doing some writing and editing at a cool new company called Houston Preeminence that covers Houstonian sports and culture. Here’s an article that I published in their humor section. They’ve got it behind a paywall, but I’m putting the whole thing here to give you some idea of what they offer their subscribers. They’ve also got a 24-hour radio station, so go check it out!


For the upcoming Texans at Redskins game on Nov. 18, our editors assigned us a challenge: use Madden NFL to simulate the game and attempt to correctly predict the outcome.

It’s a great idea; the game has an excellent record of predicting winners, with correct calls in ten of the last 15 Super Bowls. We leapt at the opportunity, but our XBox is currently having difficulty running Madden, thanks to a minor equipment malfunction.

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Reindeer Games

Dasher: All right, Blitzen, you do the antler thing with the mistletoe … Dasher, your turn to spin the bottle. Who has the blindfold? … Shit, here he comes. Hide everything.

Cupid: God, he gets so inappropriate.

Rudolph: Hey everybody! Who wants to play some reindeer games? If you know what I mean.

Vixen: Why are you winking like that?

The most famous reindeer of all
The most famous reindeer of all

Continue reading “Reindeer Games”

Google Feud

At a party on Saturday, I invented a game that I thought was just dreadfully clever. You know the auto-completion that Google gives you, to try to anticipate what you’re looking up? And you know how sometimes the suggestions can be notoriously insane, right?

It occurred to me that the autocompletions act a bit like a survey. A bit like the surveys they play with on Family Feud. So I thought, why not play Family Feud using autocomplete? And we did, and had a lot of fun.

Then I got home, excited to start developing the concept, and I found out that it’s been done (and quite well). I felt like I’d just gone to the patent office with blueprints for a phonograph record player, and there stood Thomas Edison’s great-grandson listening to an iPod, giving me the finger.

Still, all credit to these people who got there first. It’s a fun game, so go play it.

Urban Dictionary Roulette

Being a lexicographer is fantastic, because it’s part of your job to play with wondrous resources like Urban Dictionary.

Once upon a time, the best thing about Urban Dictionary was looking up your own name; you could always find something hilarious, even if only barely literate. Here’s a curious definition for the name Matt. (I can’t tell if it’s an adjective, verb, or noun, and neither can the guy who wrote it, but if you have a friend named Matt, you probably should let him know about it.) But these days the fun definitions of names are typically buried beneath mountainous piles of adoring, worthless crap written by girlfriends or boyfriends.

You can still have fun with Urban Dictionary, though, through a game I invented called “Urban Dictionary Roulette.” The way it works is, you make up a word by combining sounds at random, and then you look it up in Urban Dictionary to see if it’s in there. If it is, you then use it in a sentence. You can only use a word if you aren’t aware of it being real.

Today I tried this with gunkle, lober, and twarm.  All three were in there. The result: “When my gunkle revealed that my boss is a lober, I wanted to twarm.”

What do you get when you play?