Does Christmas music really get worse every year? Or is it just an illusion, and it’s always been this awful? Oddly enough, I think both are true. Let me explain.
I take it for granted that everybody agrees Christmas music is terrible. If it weren’t, you’d listen to it all year. But you spare yourself that torment for roughly eleven months each year, because you can. (Those few of you who are now getting frothy flecks of Cheetos all over your screens by shouting “I listen to it all year” should find each other and form a support group.)
I’ve already written extensively about my most hated song; but now, for fun, I’m going to show you what I consider the worst music video ever made. It’s so bad that if you search for it on YouTube, they will offer to auto-complete your search request for an audio-only version.
The song is “Moon Trance,” by Lindsey Stirling. Now, I can hear you saying: “Dancing zombies? That’s been done.” Yes, but never this terribly, and never with such Mormonly earnestness. The song itself … well, I don’t like it, but I’ve heard worse. The Moon Trance video, though, just might make you laugh your way into the hospital. Here it is:
Here’s something that really needed to be invented: A.V. Club came up a feature called “Hatesong,” where they get musicians and celebrities to discuss the song they hate most, and why. Go read a few; it’s lots of fun.
I think it’s a brilliant idea. I’ve got a short list of popular songs that make my bowels clench, and I would earnestly love to bring one to their attention.
And then I realized: Hey, I’ve got a blog. Why not just do it myself? So now I’m going to tell you all about my terrible journey with Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me.”